Promethisaurus Rex – Ridley Scott’s Prometheus

Warning: Explosive Bolts. If you hate spoilers, do not read this review. Just see the movie Prometheus.

Love cars, hate salesmen. A critic said Ridley Scott’s new movie ‘Prometheus’ created a mix between Bladerunner and Aliens. Being devoted to all things Ridley Scott, and having a day job, I was in the 10:30pm theater line. And all by my lonesome, as my wife knew something I didn’t. She hates salesmen worse than I, but I’m primitively attracted to shiny things.

Pre-reviewers painted a picture of discovering a lost civilizations in space, beings connected to us.  The first five minutes of the film suggest as much, so my imagination began taking the trip.That’s because after working on the latest NASA Hubble Space telescope images and making fine art prints of the grandeur of the Carina Nebulae, I was ready for a vision!

The thing about car wrecks is mostly they don’t have to happen. Sadly, even an expert driver, having ridden the long highway too many times, the roadsides all decked with franchises and blinking lights, a man can find himself dozing off.

The greatest thing to say about Prometheus is what it might have been. The awareness of planetary civilizations. (Civilization, in case you don’t know, is that thing  going out of control for much of human-kind). Imagine, some other world of minds is out there existing. We are not praying to the aliens, but  trying to understand and possibly love them like Starman or 2001 – the stuff many felt in 1966 when Star Trek was about to pilot and we were about to land on the moon. It is what archaeologists on site and historians feel when they realize there was something greater than we now – something came before, when humans had another magnificence. The discovering of civilizations brought hope.

My mornings in Escondido begin at my doormat. Ferrel cats nicely lay out  half- chewed gopher kidneys and tails – an honorable instinct learned in Egyptian times.

And so what hope does Ridley Scott lay at my feet? Kidneys and tails. Kind of like Prometheus, the clay god punished for stealing fire. Each day an eagle sent to feed on his liver, only to have it grow back to be eaten again. Like an Escondido morning, Promethean gutlore. In my Cineplex bay, really, must advanced civilizations desire to rip the heads off every living thing and scare the bejeebers out of the audience with every move they make? Where’s the wonder? There is more head ripping, tail swallowing than when Joe Bob Briggs ended every drive-in review with the body count and number of bouncing breasts.

This mashup of Aliens belies the little and lazy imagination. Space is the place! But, to not be transported? To be flushed and brought down again? I’m already living in that civilization.

Driving the highway. Nothing like a wreck. I’ve seen cars on fire, vehicles crumpled on the highway. Not like  John Chamberlain’s, the Pop artist who made an art from compressing automobiles. (Just passed in December 2011). All those Promethian wrecks. Were they good wrecks? Who’s to say? Take this movie.

Prometheus did not even fly the myth. I am certain, kindergarteners imagine better screenplays. Actors were stellar mostly; but the stars did not shine. The always watchable Sean Harris (the mangy assassin in HBOS’s The Borges), and the sensitively courteous android ‘David’ played by Michael Fassbender made the theater seat worth bearing. David was the only civil creature of the civilizations. How much I wanted the original ‘girl with the dragon tattoo’s’ to take the camera (Noomi Rapace), but damn, the dame comes off like your mom. She made the theater floor worth watching. And Charlize Theron, perhaps the most capable dimensional actress of our times does nothing but stand up straight. WHO WAS DIRECTING?

So for another creature-is-com’nta-gitchya movie, as Joe Bob says “Everything’s in this one. It’s a no-holds-bared but tasteful drive-in flick, an oldie but not necessarily a goodie. We’re talking plus-nine dead bodies, creature-fu, helmet-fu, alien aardvarking, but we got a problem: zero breasts. The T& A team sucks. There’s a drive-in Academy Award waiting for someone.”

Library of the Future

“ESCONDIDO — The Escondido Public Library has launched its eBook download service. Patrons can browse the collection online. The service is free with a valid library card. The program can be downloaded from the library’s website to a computer, iPad, electronic reader or smartphone.”

No more moldy books with underlines, browsing in the stacks, thumbing through middle pages and having to wash your hands. Days gone by. Infinite books ahead.

Not going to use the recommended Adobe EPUB reader –  a piece of crapulent programming. I type in the URL and browse the ebooks, mostly bestsellers. In “New Arrivals” – Steinbeck’s “Mouse and Men”. I click on an old arrival.  “Place a Hold.” 14 readers pending, “You will receive an email when the selected title becomes available for checkout. Once you receive the email, you will have 3 days to check out the selected title.”

So they have perfectly replicated the worst part of the library experience – having to wait for the single copy that the “library owns.” If I remember correctly, the first ever libraries were medieval with chains attached to the books.

It has been an hour since I placed a book on hold that has (0) Readers waiting. Either the volunteer librarian is still making a PBJ or they are having a heck of a time trying to file the digital book in the Adobe Shelf Filing Software – Civic Edition. But then they probably are sharing the one legitimate license between all the civic libraries forced to participate in some councilmen’s free lunch scheme.

Mark Richard Beaulieu

PS – A week later I got an email notice for one of the books. You enter your library card # and pass through some hard to follow tree to put the book into a cart. You can check it out for 7 or 14 days. You are supposed to load this .acsm file into the appropriate Adobe software to read it, although I have another reader. I finish in one hour, realizing the book is not my cup of tea. Courteously I go to the library site to let the next reader have it. There is no way to “return” the book or indicate you are finished. Obviously a scam to keep the publishers happy to keep the book out of circulation, yet appear to be offering the title for the community.

MRB

Eskimo Rap and Colin Powell

One, Two, Three!

My name is Sarah Palin, you all know me.
Vice President nominee of the GOP.
Gonna need your vote in the next election.
Can I get a Whoop! Whoop! from the senior section.

McCain got experience, McCain got style.
But don’t let him freak you out when he tries to smile.
Cuz that smile be creepy. But when I’m VP
All the leaders in the world gonna finally meet me.

How’s it go Eskimos! (Eskimo!)
Tell me, tell me what you know Eskimos. (Eskimo!)
How you feel Eskimos? (Ice cold!)
Tell me, tell me what you feel Eskimos. (Super cold!)

I’m Jeremiah Wright so tonight I’m the preacher.
I got a bookish look and you’re all hot for teacher.
Todd lookin’ fine on his snow machine.
So hot for each other we got no between.

In Wasilla we just chill, baby chill’a.
But when I see oil it’s Drill, Baby, Drilla.

My country ’tis of thee,
From my porch I can see
Russia and such.

All the mavericks in the house put your hands up!
All the mavericks in the house put your hands up!
All the plumbers in the house pull your pants up!
All the plumbers in the house pull your pants up!

When I say Obama, you say Ayers!
Obama! (Ayers!) Obama! (Ayers!)

I built me a bridge, it ain’t goin’ nowhere.
Oohhh!

McCain-Palin gonna put the nail in the coffin
Of the media elite.
She likes red meat! (enter moose)

Shoot a mother-humpin’ moose 8 days of the week!
(gunshots – moose drops)
Now you’re dead!
Now you’re dead cuz I’m an animal!
And I’m bigger than you!
Holding a shotgun, rocking the pumps.
Everybody party, we’re going on the hood.
La La, La La, La La, La La!

(gunshots)
Yo! I’m Palin! I’m out!

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Republican Anger, The Tale of

Once upon a time, there was a group of people that were as intelligent as William F. Buckley. They generated wealth, conserved resources, spent wisely, were generally happy, and had a large world view. They became powerful and did not want to lose their position so they appointed a friendly dummy to rule the kingdom. Over time the dummy wasted money, spent foolishly, had only one view of the kingdom, and was plainly ignorant. The once-wise became vain and thought it would appear bad if they chastised their dummy. They did not police themselves to cultivate their deepest values, and started to reach old age.

The idiot ruler surrounded himself with people like himself. For one thing, he appointed a fox as town cryer. The wily fox knew if he said only good things about the king’s reign he would get big treats.  Any who disagreed were made fun of and then banished. Citizens heard only one story. The once-wise liked it that way. But the foxes stories created a deep division in the kingdom. A silent resentful group smart enough to know the difference between a lie and the truth – called the knowers, and the less intelligent who couldn’t tell the difference – called the believers.

As the once-wise began to die off, their ranks were filled with braggers, boasters, and simple-minded believers who listened without question. A great turnabout occurred as if by magic.  The believers, remarkably once-wise, now had reversed their cherished values. They no longer generated wealth, they contrived money-making betting schemes, squandered resources, became mean, intolerant of the world, were generally unhappy and were proudly and heroically stupid.

The kingdom became poorer not because the dummy made foolish decisions, but because the once-wise did not intervene to fix anything. Why? Because they were too old, too wealthy, and lived in fabulous palaces. Soon they all died off.

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Putin – He’s Rearin His Head at Me

Foreign policy is federal and not state business. Palin could have avoided her nonsensical commentary but felt compelled to testify to her enhanced foreign policy credentials. Her short version – we are next to Russia which is next to Alaska, next to Russia across from Alaska. The circular justification of proximity as policy expertise should rear any head. Putin must be salivating.

PALIN: “Our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They’re in the state that I am the executive of.”

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations? For example, with the Russians.

PALIN: “We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.”  – CBS – YOUTUBE.

Two Mavericks

 TWO MAVERICKS 

EXT. FARM PASTURE - DAY

MAVERICK, the old horse stands in a pasture, inspired by open sky. 

      MAVERICK
      No, I am a Maverick, because I challenge the herd. I bring change.

MAVERESS, a young sexy horse saunters into frame, nuzzling up to
Maverick.

      MAVERESS
      I am a Maverick too. Talk about change.

Voice over as Maverick nervously tries to create a little space. 

      VOICE OVER
      Can't there be one Maverick? Is the party that presents two
Mavericks trying to say something about change? Is it to change the
government they have badly run for the last eight years?

FADEIN of OBAMA CAMPAIGN LOGO

     VOICE OVER (CONT'D)
     Let's quit horsing around.  Who has said we need real change
before there were Mavericks? Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Real change for all the people.