Eskimo Rap and Colin Powell

One, Two, Three!

My name is Sarah Palin, you all know me.
Vice President nominee of the GOP.
Gonna need your vote in the next election.
Can I get a Whoop! Whoop! from the senior section.

McCain got experience, McCain got style.
But don’t let him freak you out when he tries to smile.
Cuz that smile be creepy. But when I’m VP
All the leaders in the world gonna finally meet me.

How’s it go Eskimos! (Eskimo!)
Tell me, tell me what you know Eskimos. (Eskimo!)
How you feel Eskimos? (Ice cold!)
Tell me, tell me what you feel Eskimos. (Super cold!)

I’m Jeremiah Wright so tonight I’m the preacher.
I got a bookish look and you’re all hot for teacher.
Todd lookin’ fine on his snow machine.
So hot for each other we got no between.

In Wasilla we just chill, baby chill’a.
But when I see oil it’s Drill, Baby, Drilla.

My country ’tis of thee,
From my porch I can see
Russia and such.

All the mavericks in the house put your hands up!
All the mavericks in the house put your hands up!
All the plumbers in the house pull your pants up!
All the plumbers in the house pull your pants up!

When I say Obama, you say Ayers!
Obama! (Ayers!) Obama! (Ayers!)

I built me a bridge, it ain’t goin’ nowhere.
Oohhh!

McCain-Palin gonna put the nail in the coffin
Of the media elite.
She likes red meat! (enter moose)

Shoot a mother-humpin’ moose 8 days of the week!
(gunshots – moose drops)
Now you’re dead!
Now you’re dead cuz I’m an animal!
And I’m bigger than you!
Holding a shotgun, rocking the pumps.
Everybody party, we’re going on the hood.
La La, La La, La La, La La!

(gunshots)
Yo! I’m Palin! I’m out!

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Republican Anger, The Tale of

Once upon a time, there was a group of people that were as intelligent as William F. Buckley. They generated wealth, conserved resources, spent wisely, were generally happy, and had a large world view. They became powerful and did not want to lose their position so they appointed a friendly dummy to rule the kingdom. Over time the dummy wasted money, spent foolishly, had only one view of the kingdom, and was plainly ignorant. The once-wise became vain and thought it would appear bad if they chastised their dummy. They did not police themselves to cultivate their deepest values, and started to reach old age.

The idiot ruler surrounded himself with people like himself. For one thing, he appointed a fox as town cryer. The wily fox knew if he said only good things about the king’s reign he would get big treats.  Any who disagreed were made fun of and then banished. Citizens heard only one story. The once-wise liked it that way. But the foxes stories created a deep division in the kingdom. A silent resentful group smart enough to know the difference between a lie and the truth – called the knowers, and the less intelligent who couldn’t tell the difference – called the believers.

As the once-wise began to die off, their ranks were filled with braggers, boasters, and simple-minded believers who listened without question. A great turnabout occurred as if by magic.  The believers, remarkably once-wise, now had reversed their cherished values. They no longer generated wealth, they contrived money-making betting schemes, squandered resources, became mean, intolerant of the world, were generally unhappy and were proudly and heroically stupid.

The kingdom became poorer not because the dummy made foolish decisions, but because the once-wise did not intervene to fix anything. Why? Because they were too old, too wealthy, and lived in fabulous palaces. Soon they all died off.

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Obama in October

29 days left on the old Bush clock. Halloween approaches. The all-seeing always-linking Andrew Sullivan spots an Obaman act of goodness as Autumnal days get darker.

Hyper-Halloween heats up with both parties now. The fear meter tips more to the right as the Republicans haunt the American imagination with the “white flag”, “terrorists pal” and the other ilk of character assassination pressed by, I will call it, “Neandrican” leadership.

The Bush clock ticks and the Neandrican “October Surprise” is being wound up tighetr than a Jack-in-the-box. Ready to pop out for capture is Bin Laden previewed on 60 minutes. Cromagnocrats stay frosty.  Be advised.

The skilled Cromagnocrat can seize the winning strategy against Al Qaeda, whereas the Neandrican is unable to let go. Monkeys are caught when they reach into an anchored gourd filled with shiny coins. When the hunter charges, the animal will not unclench his fist to run away. “Must surge now.”

The trick or treat election is on everyone’s mind. Rolling Stone opens the bag on Make-Believe Maverick and brother Matt Taibbi’s Mad Dog Palin.

Stirring the pot of hatred, the polarizing Republican rally to kill, baby kill. I am now hearing people use “Alaska!” as an expletive, as in “Alaska! don’t make me come over there.”, or “Alaska! Whose calling me now?”

Pales By Comparison

Wait, let’s see that VP debate transcript. Did Sarah Palin really say the Taliban are working with us in Iraq? No it was Maliki and Talabani, ok, no gaffe. But with the many slips in her speaking, you never knew if she knew what she was talking about, as was clear in the Couric interview. As Kathleen Parker puts it

“Before we relax into giddiness or cynicism, however, it’s important to consider that a debate differs from an interview in significant ways. A debate is a point-counterpoint exercise that allows little opportunity for probing or follow-up. An interview requires that a candidate explain an idea in depth and offer specifics.”

Amid the betcha’s and eye wink connectives, Palin largely followed Biden’s topical lead, even though she had many opportunities to coherently advance the subject or even once seize the first response to the moderator. When confronted or perhaps not understanding difficult questions, she took the conversation into oddly irrelevant areas to what the audience was focusing on and waiting for her counter punch. For example when Gwen asked about policy on mortgage and bankruptcy, Joe gave a perfectly fine answer. Sarah’s turn. “I want to talk about, again, my record on energy policy”. For the audience, an unsatisfying comeback and repeating herself again already.
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Putin – He’s Rearin His Head at Me

Foreign policy is federal and not state business. Palin could have avoided her nonsensical commentary but felt compelled to testify to her enhanced foreign policy credentials. Her short version – we are next to Russia which is next to Alaska, next to Russia across from Alaska. The circular justification of proximity as policy expertise should rear any head. Putin must be salivating.

PALIN: “Our next door neighbors are foreign countries. They’re in the state that I am the executive of.”

COURIC: Have you ever been involved with any negotiations? For example, with the Russians.

PALIN: “We have trade missions back and forth, we do. It’s very important when you consider even national security issues with Russia. As Putin rears his head and comes into the air space of the United States of America, where do they go? It’s Alaska. It’s just right over the border. It is from Alaska that we send those out to make sure that an eye is being kept on this very powerful nation, Russia, because they are right there, they are right next to our state.”  – CBS – YOUTUBE.

Two Mavericks

 TWO MAVERICKS 

EXT. FARM PASTURE - DAY

MAVERICK, the old horse stands in a pasture, inspired by open sky. 

      MAVERICK
      No, I am a Maverick, because I challenge the herd. I bring change.

MAVERESS, a young sexy horse saunters into frame, nuzzling up to
Maverick.

      MAVERESS
      I am a Maverick too. Talk about change.

Voice over as Maverick nervously tries to create a little space. 

      VOICE OVER
      Can't there be one Maverick? Is the party that presents two
Mavericks trying to say something about change? Is it to change the
government they have badly run for the last eight years?

FADEIN of OBAMA CAMPAIGN LOGO

     VOICE OVER (CONT'D)
     Let's quit horsing around.  Who has said we need real change
before there were Mavericks? Barack Obama and Joe Biden. Real change for all the people.